Xbox Kinect Doesn't Suck, You Do!

Always take any Internet review with a grain of salt. Obviously, opinion is subjective. But it's also based on things like personal experiences, education, and your personality. This, however, does not excuse the mounds of absolutely moronic reviews and absurd criticisms lodged against several Kinect titles. It's so ridiculous that it verges on, insert most hated, fascist country, level of propaganda.

RIP Christopher Hitchens

The average world IQ has dropped a few points. Our bard, hero, and champion of rationality, Christopher Hitchens, is dead. I repeat, Superman is dead. This was a sentiment echoed across the rationalist, intellectual communities, last night and this morning. And it is with a heavy heart that I write this. While I understood the survival rate of esophageal cancer, and this may be a remnant of my believer upbringing, I never gave up hope. While being a real human being requires one to be acquainted with death, who I know far better than I ever wanted, there is no preparing for such things — regardless that we "knew" this day was coming for quite some time.

E-'geniuses' and Kepler-22b

Warning: Nerd rage alert.

Thanks to the "brilliance" of the Internet, I've had to make a lot of personal rules. The first one: Avoid the YouTube comments section, as much as possible. And honestly, my life has been much better since I created that one. So many times I'll click on an interesting article, scroll down a bit, and find myself viewing a few posts "correcting" someone or the article, incorrectly. And unfortunately, this rule needs updating to involve other sites I used to love.

Epic Skyrim Review

The Elder Scrolls has been my favorite game series since Morrowind. It was the first time I had felt like I was in a world that, truly, existed beyond the periphery of my character's vision. This was only improved on in Oblivion, and Skyrim was hyped to be the epitome of the openness and expansiveness: Taken to the next level. I, like many of you, had been waiting for this game for quite some time. And for the most part, it delivered. I mean, it has motherfucking dragons!

I Placed it With My Other Enchanted Items

Changes

You exist to others as a concept based on their collective memories, at least, anytime you aren't directly interacting with them. So, it's understandable that people often pigeonhole you to their strongest memories. Or that it would take a lot of interactions to change that paradigm. This is also understandable because most people hardly change and doubly so when they are trying. Hell, even your own personality is largely derived from memories of your experiences. And their accuracy to reality isn't even relevant to their importance.

Why Twilight and Its Fans, Suck

I really wanted to do a Skyrim post, but I'm still compiling a list of things I love and hate about it. Speaking of hate, Twilight: Breaking Dawn came out the other day. This normally wouldn't be enough for me to make a blog over. But today I saw a TV documentary on its fans called Twilight in Forks / The Real Town. For the longest time I was comfortable thinking that Twitlight fans were mostly teenagers, their moms, emotionally-empty-twenty-something-year-old-women, and boys who will follow female trends subconsciously — just to get laid. While this is still true, there is an even sadder subset.

Modern Warfare 3: The Whining

So, it seems like people fall into mostly two camps on this topic: ones who want to continue doing the same thing over and over again with slight variations. And others, who prefer to do something else over and over again with slight variations. People get upset or annoyed when you point out how derivative and empty their entertainment interests are. But video games hold a special place in my heart; I used to be an addict. My poison was role playing games and the Quake series. Basically, the same types of games that still have a stranglehold over millions. I think I slept, on average, two hours a day for nearly a year in, 1999.

Anti-literature Douchebag Alert!

Today, I was pointed towards a blog on Tumblr (it's old). It was written by one of those highly opinionated people who use dry humor and sarcasm to make points. I know, right ... what a loser! In all honesty, this sort of sentiment isn't new. In fact, it's older than dirt. I'm not going to tackle all the obvious exaggerations and sweeping generalizations. But when you strip away all the "humor," you are still left with someone discouraging interest in Wallace — which isn't fucking cool with me.

Who do You Write Like?

While reading Writer's Digest, my wife came across a link to this interesting writing analyzer. It works better if you put around a page of text, but I was pleasantly surprised. I was told how much, in my fiction, I sounded like Wallace — before ever hearing of him or reading his work. I entered a page that I wrote before, not prior to (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_sQrxAorDo), reading Infinite Jest. And it was from my current Novel, which is a work in progress. Either way, I'll take it!

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

You're Not a Geek or a Nerd

Remember that "insulting" thing you used to call me when we were children? You know, the term which was synonymous with loser. Yeah, that never had any fucking thing to do with playing Nintendo. I don't know if it's true, but I remember Kevin Smith talking about the origin of the word geek: The guy at the freak show who bit the heads off chickens. So, I understand that the times have changed. But since when are mindless video game addicts, "geeks or nerds?"

Final Fantasy is the Twilight of RPGs

If you don't have a problem with the title's analogy, please hit the back arrow located on the upper left of your browser window. My writing is not factory pressed formulated fatuity. No, I actually do give a shit about art. Contrary to what Ebert believes, who I agree with most of the time, video games can be artful: Braid. And I actually care when a great developer, that used to produce groundbreaking, epic titles, has lost the plot.

Portal is Free on Steam!

So, as many know, Portal is free for a "few" days on Steam! And I can finally obtain some context with the game's funny end-credits' theme, "Still Alive." With that said, I'm not a complete Portal newbie. I've played it numerous times before and even went through the demo. As of now, I haven't beat it yet. But this promise of cake should be worth it ... . I didn't want to believe the internet. But in my heart of hearts, I knew the promises of a pleasant, praiseful, pastry were too good to be true. Yeah, I put off my writing and finally beat it; the cake really was a lie. </3

The Average Joe Versus A Beautiful Mind

There is a giant misconception, within the public, when it comes to being highly intelligent or a genius. It's this crazy idea that there is nothing different about them from a regular person. If anyone actually read my blog on introversion (The Science of Being an Introvert), I'd probably see less of this dumb shit. I'm not saying there aren't exceptions (Johnny Von Neumann); I'm saying, by and large, there are massive, obvious differences in the two mindsets.

Back to the Future II: Nike Mag Shoes!

I'm, totally, not late to this story — just late writing it. I remember first seeing this shoe in the movie. And along with everyone else, I wanted it. Of course, we all wanted hover-boards. So, some of the minor stuff not existing was a tad more forgivable. But huzzah! We finally have something, or do we? I got sick of waiting for the future that never was, during high school. This lead me to wear space pants and ridiculous clothing for some time. Sure, maybe I was "peacocking." But, honestly, I wanted that world. And I still want it, right meow!

Where are All the Avatar Fanboys Now and Avatar 2

It's been well over two years, and I don't see them anymore. Maybe, they never really existed. We've all ranted about the horrible writing, video-game-cut-scene par CG, and the appropriation of a beloved, popular Nickelodeon show's title. Also, it sadly ushered in a new, annoying 3D trend. It captivated the hearts of shallow morons everywhere. James Cameron talked down to his audience, and they showered him with riches. It, even, became a social stigma to not watch or like the movie; it was completely ridiculous. And two years later, it's vanished off the radar like every other shitty movie before it.

MN Renaissance Festival, 2011

If thou seeketh to clapper boredom, then be it, well bethought, a quest upon the Festival of Renaissance! Agood turkey legs done to a turn and fine brewen mead, plausive to thine tongue. Cittern, harp, and lute waft broken music and accite the adventurous spirit. Let thine blood lust out and agaze the joust! If naught else, the jesters' acture cause ye loffe.

A Growing Problem in the World and Television

Today, I saw something that reminded me of this growing problem; it was a link to a site called Literally Unbelievable. I've seen this sort of thing before but not in such bulk. It's more than just an inability to detect satire; it's a complete lack of critical thinking in a substantial amount of people. But I do want to address my first concern: what the hell is wrong with you, seriously? And what are we doing as a public to fix this?

Stop Using the Term Gourmet!

This is a pet peeve of mine. I don't get why many restaurants and grocery stores feel the need to place "gourmet" in front of their items' and entrees' names. I'm writing this because I just had "gourmet" potato salad that tasted a lot like American classic. And I've had some good potato salad: Bavarian! But I can't be alone at cringing upon reading this phrase.

Drawing Dragons

There are a lot of tutorials on

how to draw dragons

. While there are popular designs, you shouldn't put yourself into a box when it comes to mythological creatures. Being creative and original are the most important aspects to your artwork. Dragons aren't real and shouldn't be confined to one person's imagination. With that said, here is a drawing dragons step by step example on how I designed Mirzym.

You Didn't Grow Up With the NES or Ninja Turtles

This isn't a new phenomena, however, it's getting rather old for me. I feel like the unique things to my generation's past are being appropriated by younger and younger people each year. I'm sorry current teenager, but I'm taking my history back.

Eureka Canceled by SyFy

It's sad that I have to make this blog. As of today, Aug. 9th, 2011, Eureka has been canceled by SyFy (you can read the official press release here). This isn't going to be a rant about how disappointed or angry I am with the network; I'm simply done with them after Eureka finishes. Instead, I'm going to write about how much the show meant to me and why it was so important to TV. Anyone who wants to tell me that it's just another TV series, don't bother; you're wrong.

How You Can Maximize Your Intelligence

I want the future we were promised! That's right, I said it! Where are the flying cars, alternative energy, time traveling phone booths, the holodeck, incandescent clothing, interplanetary travel, hover-boards, and realistic androids? It's one thing to try and fail; it's another to downright fuck with the people's education and priorities. But that's another blog in itself. How many of you know multivariable calculus, let alone any math past high school algebra? I'm guessing not many. More importantly, how many of you even care? And how many people strive to be a clone of someone socially more popular? Answer: Too damn few or too damn many.

Death "Threats" Towards Atheists

Them good ol' boys are at it again. I don't even care about the story behind this cross and ground zero; I do, however, kind of (pretending to take this seriously) care when bigots publicly rally hatred against my fellow atheists. I should have prefaced this blog with: this shit isn't new. In fact, this is older than dirt. It's the age old story of brainless mob versus those terrible nonbelievers. How dare they, those godless heathens, stand up to my beliefs and all powerful, invisible BFF.

The New Spider-Man is Black not White.

I think it's a pathetic way to be edgy and create a pseudo controversy to sell the same old crap over and over again. But if black Spider-Man is not a whiny little douche and is instead Samuel L. Jackson-esque, it's, at least, a massive upgrade for me; I hate Spider-Man. Yes, I'm saying it. I used to love him as a kid. But as an adult, he annoys the shit out of me. Despite having super strength, speed, senses, being insanely intelligent, and sarcastically funny, Peter Parker had no swagger! It was such an unrealistic character designed to appeal to the common socially inept and stereotypical comic reader.

Online Gaming

Believe it or not, there was once a time when you, actually, had to go to a physical place to play a stranger in a video game; we called them arcades. If you talked serious trash before a match and lost, you were publicly humiliated, everyone remembered your dumb face, and you probably never came back. If you threatened someone, you'd be lucky to get away with just being kicked out and banned. Also, the only way to keep in contact with people—involved slowly getting to know them, which often lead to great friendships. Yeah, this was a problem that sure needed "fixing."

The Science of Being an Introvert

I've read a few, OK, books on the subject, but I don't know which to recommend. I was originally inspired to read further on this after reading Carl King's article: 10 Myths About Introverts. None of these books are perfect, however, The Introvert Advantage, by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D. was one that really opened my eyes to the neurological and genetic differences between introverts and extroverts. This will be a partial review of the physical science in it and my own conjecture based on personal experience and education.

Dragon's Milk

This isn't a review about the comic series with said name. Dragon's Milk is, simply, the greatest beer on planet Earth. I first discovered it years ago while drinking in a pub called the Happy Gnome. While New Holland Brewery claims full responsibility for its creation, I feel the Cow Dragon needs some recognition.

The majestic Cow Dragon—Moo!

This is one of those beers that you just can't find a substitute for. It's oak soaked/aged, which gives it a roasted feel—very bourbony: not for yellow fizz beer drinkers. This dark ale is rich in body and in texture. While its main dominating flavor is vanilla, all the flavors come together for a hint of chocolate. Many wimps have given it horrible reviews, but this is the best dark ale you'll ever find. It's very high in alcohol content; so, you will get plastered if you try to knock a four pack down in one sitting. It's also sold in pint sized bottles (which I prefer). What are you waiting for? Go get some, NOW!

I give it 5 out of 5 baby dragons.

Katy Perry's ET Song Really Creeps Me Out

This is a song that can really get stuck in your head. That's probably because it's essentially the same sounding song as t.A.T.u.'s 2000 hit, "All the Things She Said." They both are played in C# Mixolydian, in the key of C minor, and are in 4/4 with similar tempos. The largest differences between the two, aside from the lyrics, are "ET's" breakdowns (where we are tortured with the uninventive and outright creepy rapping of Kanye West) and the use of acoustic, non triggered drums and real guitar in t.A.T.u.'s track

The Music Video and Lyrics

The music video starts out with Kanye talking about how awesome he is. It then shortly cuts to Roger from "American Dad" in one of his typical drag outfits—lip-syncing to the song's main verse. The video itself is well shot and even the effects of weightless Kanye look cool, but I can't believe what I'm hearing. 

At one point, one has to ask the question: What do terms like different DNA actually mean? Essentially, it means you'll have more genetically in common with a polar bear than an extraterrestrial. Maybe you like having sex with polar bears; I don't know. I do know that you'd probably have a better time with them than aliens. Don't make me illustrate it! Contrary to the Gene Roddenberry mythos, it's highly unlikely that aliens would look like bikini models painted green. With all that said, that's not even the low point of the song.

Suck me beautiful!

The low point is when alien Kanye openly talks about abducting and raping women. I guess this is kosher when you're slamming back pan galactic gargle blasters. I'm not saying this is serious business, and I do understand that it's just a song; it's just really fucking creepy. This could be on the soundtrack to a Japanese tentacle monster hentai!

 "Imma disrobe you; then Imma probe you. See—I abducted you. So, I tell you what to do."

 Are we so self involved as a species that we don't picture aliens as actually being alien? I realize that this has happened in some of the greatest science fiction works ever, but they had context. In "Star Trek," life was seeded across the cosmos. Without that context, it's just a song about an alien donkey show. And I'll pass on the auditory interspecies erotica ... for now.

On Doctor Who Season 6

I feel like the only member of the Doctor Who cult who didn't wind up drinking the Kool-Aid. There are a lot of good elements to the show still: Murray Gold's score is as brilliant as ever, and the special effects are great. However, the show just feels so—forced. Steven Moffat is a good writer; his work on Sherlock is brilliant, but some things are just off in this season. I've never felt so uninterested in it.

Hmmm...Is it "spacey wacey" or "timey wimey?"

The first thing I've noticed: Matt Smith has come into his own as the doctor. As apposed to his debut, which was closer to an imitation Tennant. I know I'm in a minority, but I liked him better last season. He has his moments still, however, they seem to be few and far between a lot of miscues. Smith just doesn't command the proper authority for me. I see the right amount of eccentricities. But his genius is more tell than show. 

I feel like this season of Doctor Who is the X-Files minus David Duchovny. There are all these questions constantly being raised. "Subtle" hints at future plots twists and an annoying reoccurring cryptic message: "Silence will fall." It's just something I can't get excited about. Does it reference the alien beings of same said name? If it does, I don't get what's so ominous about them falling. I could be completely wrong about this, however, it really feels like the story is being forced to fit the odd blurb from season 5's premier. 

This season has a very fairy tale nightmare theme to it. While there isn't anything inherently wrong with this, it's definitely becoming an atmospheric crutch. The writing has taken a more hard-scifi approach as well. And this takes away from another part I loved about newer Who: Well written techno babble that is grounded in actual theoretical physics and cosmology. Why talk about collapsing wave functions and the probability clouds of atoms predicating the existence of parallel dimensions, when you can just say "Spacey Wacey?"

Also, I really didn't want to see the return of Amy Pond and Rory Williams. While I don't hate these characters, their story was nicely wrapped up last season. So, it feels more like a sequel than a new adventure. I think bringing them back presented a lot of challenges in the writing and even affected the on screen chemistry of Amy and the Doctor.

With all that said, I still like the show; I just don't love it. One thing both Doctor Who and Sherlock could do without: Moffat's abuse of cliff hangers! Sherlock is one of the most painful  I've ever endured. An educated guess would be that we're going to get another one at the end of episode 7.