Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Dragon's Milk

This isn't a review about the comic series with said name. Dragon's Milk is, simply, the greatest beer on planet Earth. I first discovered it years ago while drinking in a pub called the Happy Gnome. While New Holland Brewery claims full responsibility for its creation, I feel the Cow Dragon needs some recognition.

The majestic Cow Dragon—Moo!

This is one of those beers that you just can't find a substitute for. It's oak soaked/aged, which gives it a roasted feel—very bourbony: not for yellow fizz beer drinkers. This dark ale is rich in body and in texture. While its main dominating flavor is vanilla, all the flavors come together for a hint of chocolate. Many wimps have given it horrible reviews, but this is the best dark ale you'll ever find. It's very high in alcohol content; so, you will get plastered if you try to knock a four pack down in one sitting. It's also sold in pint sized bottles (which I prefer). What are you waiting for? Go get some, NOW!

I give it 5 out of 5 baby dragons.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Katy Perry's ET Song Really Creeps Me Out

This is a song that can really get stuck in your head. That's probably because it's essentially the same sounding song as t.A.T.u.'s 2000 hit, "All the Things She Said." They both are played in C# Mixolydian, in the key of C minor, and are in 4/4 with similar tempos. The largest differences between the two, aside from the lyrics, are "ET's" breakdowns (where we are tortured with the uninventive and outright creepy rapping of Kanye West) and the use of acoustic, non triggered drums and real guitar in t.A.T.u.'s track

The Music Video and Lyrics

The music video starts out with Kanye talking about how awesome he is. It then shortly cuts to Roger from "American Dad" in one of his typical drag outfits—lip-syncing to the song's main verse. The video itself is well shot and even the effects of weightless Kanye look cool, but I can't believe what I'm hearing. 

At one point, one has to ask the question: What do terms like different DNA actually mean? Essentially, it means you'll have more genetically in common with a polar bear than an extraterrestrial. Maybe you like having sex with polar bears; I don't know. I do know that you'd probably have a better time with them than aliens. Don't make me illustrate it! Contrary to the Gene Roddenberry mythos, it's highly unlikely that aliens would look like bikini models painted green. With all that said, that's not even the low point of the song.

Suck me beautiful!

The low point is when alien Kanye openly talks about abducting and raping women. I guess this is kosher when you're slamming back pan galactic gargle blasters. I'm not saying this is serious business, and I do understand that it's just a song; it's just really fucking creepy. This could be on the soundtrack to a Japanese tentacle monster hentai!

 "Imma disrobe you; then Imma probe you. See—I abducted you. So, I tell you what to do."
 Are we so self involved as a species that we don't picture aliens as actually being alien? I realize that this has happened in some of the greatest science fiction works ever, but they had context. In "Star Trek," life was seeded across the cosmos. Without that context, it's just a song about an alien donkey show. And I'll pass on the auditory interspecies erotica ... for now.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

On Doctor Who Season 6

I feel like the only member of the Doctor Who cult who didn't wind up drinking the Kool-Aid. There are a lot of good elements to the show still: Murray Gold's score is as brilliant as ever, and the special effects are great. However, the show just feels so—forced. Steven Moffat is a good writer; his work on Sherlock is brilliant, but some things are just off in this season. I've never felt so uninterested in it.

Hmmm...Is it "spacey wacey" or "timey wimey?"

The first thing I've noticed: Matt Smith has come into his own as the doctor. As apposed to his debut, which was closer to an imitation Tennant. I know I'm in a minority, but I liked him better last season. He has his moments still, however, they seem to be few and far between a lot of miscues. Smith just doesn't command the proper authority for me. I see the right amount of eccentricities. But his genius is more tell than show. 

I feel like this season of Doctor Who is the X-Files minus David Duchovny. There are all these questions constantly being raised. "Subtle" hints at future plots twists and an annoying reoccurring cryptic message: "Silence will fall." It's just something I can't get excited about. Does it reference the alien beings of same said name? If it does, I don't get what's so ominous about them falling. I could be completely wrong about this, however, it really feels like the story is being forced to fit the odd blurb from season 5's premier. 

This season has a very fairy tale nightmare theme to it. While there isn't anything inherently wrong with this, it's definitely becoming an atmospheric crutch. The writing has taken a more hard-scifi approach as well. And this takes away from another part I loved about newer Who: Well written techno babble that is grounded in actual theoretical physics and cosmology. Why talk about collapsing wave functions and the probability clouds of atoms predicating the existence of parallel dimensions, when you can just say "Spacey Wacey?"

Also, I really didn't want to see the return of Amy Pond and Rory Williams. While I don't hate these characters, their story was nicely wrapped up last season. So, it feels more like a sequel than a new adventure. I think bringing them back presented a lot of challenges in the writing and even affected the on screen chemistry of Amy and the Doctor.

With all that said, I still like the show; I just don't love it. One thing both Doctor Who and Sherlock could do without: Moffat's abuse of cliff hangers! Sherlock is one of the most painful  I've ever endured. An educated guess would be that we're going to get another one at the end of episode 7.