Monday, December 26, 2011

Xbox Kinect Doesn't Suck, You Do!

Always take any Internet review with a grain of salt. Obviously, opinion is subjective. But it's also based on things like personal experiences, education, and your personality. This, however, does not excuse the mounds of absolutely moronic reviews and absurd criticisms lodged against several Kinect titles. It's so ridiculous that it verges on, insert most hated, fascist country, level of propaganda.

The only game which I want to talk about is one that I fully went through: Rise of Nightmares. This game has mediocre reviews and outrageously lodged criticisms all over the Internet (e.g., people needing to put their foot on a box to move forward, the mechanics being too sloppy for the game's traps, and it having response lag). I can say, without a doubt, that this is complete bullshit and all on the player. I have a decent sized area for my Kinect, and I have had zero issues with the controls: The response time being amazing. Everyone who I showed this game to absolutely loved it. They did not have any weird issues. And yes, this includes people who play very little video games.

The graphics are decent, and the story is surprisingly fun. I'm sorry Capcom fanboys, but it was more interesting and entertaining than playing through Resident Evil 5. It has arcade style gameplay, including the same game over screen from House of the Dead!, and a serious story. And FYI, it's not scary because of the gore; it's scary because of how easy it is to get caught up in it. The experience you'll have is way beyond sitting on your ass with a controller or solely waving your hands around. Kinect just takes the gameplay to another level.

If the purpose of a game is to entertain, then I'd give it a maximum rating in whatever arbitrary system. Also, it doubles as actual exercise. You will get exhausted kicking, punching, slashing , and hurling test tubes of explosive compounds at hordes of zombies for hours on end. I've personally offed over 500! So, not only was I having fun with it, I was actually being active. It's that DDR effect, sans the annoying J-pop and embarrassing, useless pseudo-dancing.

It just seems to me everyone is so quick to accept the typical IGN score as valid. Or they'll watch some guy flail around, on YouTube, who completely sucks at it and blame the game! Some people are really damn awkward with it. While I don't know why, they think they can just make whatever motions they want and expect the Kinect to infer their intentions. You still have to play by the rules. And last time I checked, the Xbox controller doesn't have diodes to connect to your head and interface with your brain.
Also, you can't just jump into someone else's scan and play. Well, you can, but it usually doesn't work that well. It's far better if it adjusts and calibrates for you, in the beginning of the game. Ergo, if you're showing someone a game, have them sign in as a guest profile and restart it.

Kinect works, period. If you're thinking about getting one and were scared off by the negative, borderline libelous Internet comments / posts, ignore them. But under no circumstances buy one if you can't stand about seven feet away from the sensor. Any closer, and you'll experience a myriad of frustrating issues with many games.


  1. Kinect is a great concept, that most certainly doesn't suck. The only problem with it is that it doesn't have great games. The only games it has are for little kids or are party games.