Sunday, May 6, 2012

Review: Star Wars Kinect

Well I'll be damned. Yet another Kinect title that works perfectly and gave me no trouble with the controls. In fact, it even worked with my plastic lightsaber! I've seen a lot of reviews of this game. And there is really nothing new here when it comes to the hatred. I even saw one person reviewing it with a room illuminated by daylight. And of course, he had a horrible experience. Since, you know, daylight contains infra red radiation ... which is the same radiation the Kinect sensor uses to detect you and your motions!

Seriously, learn to set up your Kinect. And if you're really in a tight spot and aren't the proper distance away from it, don't make a fucking review.Leave it to someone who has the space and the ability to use it as it was intended. Anyways, onward with my experience!

The Jedi Destiny mode was awesome. It's no Force Unleashed, but the immersion makes it just as fun. I loved throwing droids, slicing through them, and just going into battle with a bunch of Jedi and kicking ass. It was accurate. One complaint is you could wave your arm around frantically and beat a lot of the levels. And this might be true, but button mashing isn't anything new. I actually tried playing it and had fun with various moves. But if you hated this experience, here are some differences between us:

  • I'm not completely dead inside.
  • I understand that the Kinect is not perfect, like all technology, and don't get extremely butthurt when something goes a little awry ... unless it's bowling. 
  • This technology is the closest thing to re-experiencing video game magic. I know you don't think it's a big deal. And that's mostly because you've been mentally castrated by console FPS games or some other type that you take way too seriously. And by way too seriously, I mean with a modicum of seriousness. No, keep on climbing that leader board. It's, totally, a real skill you're developing there. Maybe you can invite that girl you like over and impress her pants off by having her watch you play video games!
  • I had the rare foresight to set it up properly and run the tuner feature.
  • I'm not an awkward doofus; I can figure out when the motions I'm making aren't working and adapt to better ones for the game. You can't.
  • I grew up in a time when the only video conversations going on were happening on The Jetsons. Waving my hand and making something move, well that was pure witchcraft. You grew up in the late 90s and 00s. You take this shit for granted because it's been done as a special effect, in movies and television, all throughout your life. It's the same reason NASA has to dress up their space images to get your dumb ass to even glance at them
  • You hate Star Wars. And by that, I mean you have no personality or any redeeming qualities.
  • You have a brand loyalty to a foreign company and refuse to have fun on any other system because you're a giant toolbag.

/mini rant

I enjoyed nearly every mode to a degree. Pod Racing was fun. But unlike everyone else, I wasn't a fan of it on N64. I haven't even played it enough to know how they'd compare. But the general complaint was that the pod stays close to a center rail. Well, I want you to hold out both of your arms, in front of you, for 3 minutes, and tell me how that feels because this was a major part of my martial arts training! And if you aren't used to it, it's pretty tough. I assume the center rail, down the track, is there to grant the player some mercy.

I don't really want to review each one. I will say that I had no problems, again, with having my motion detected properly. And preforming any of the tasks the game requested. They did a really good job at improving all the functions before release compared it to the early videos I saw.

Don't expect Knights of the Old Republic or anything with an "epic" story. Do expect to feel some satisfaction destroying bad guys with your lightsaber and Jedi powers. But even some of the people who largely made fun of it, agreed that it was a fun experience.

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