Sunday, February 10, 2013

I'm not a Real Geek

There was a time I sat in its penumbra, but the paradigm has shifted to where I now am outside of it. I know it started somewhere after high school and before it became a marketing term, but the more I see of contemporary geekdom, in shows like King of the Nerds, Geek Love, and even events like Comicon, the more I realize that I have nothing in common with these people, despite liking some of the same things they obsess over.

When I see a bunch of awkward guys running around fighting each other with foam weapons, even I get the urge to kick their asses and dunk their faces into a toilet. And the toy collecting, I'll never understand. It made sense as a kid when I played with them. But when I reached adolescence, I sold them to a used toy store. The idea that some poor kid couldn't get one of my cool toys, for a buck, because some dipshit, now socially acceptable, adult "geek" bought them, really pisses me off. Grow up and play HeroScape, like a man.

And fuck your androgynous, emotionally retarded, one dimensional, cliche anime hero idols. They aren't interesting or deep. The reason you feel such a strong connection to them is because you're also not interesting or deep. Read some damn literature, go hunting, go sailing, learn an instrument, lift some weights, don't be a wallflower at a party, join a softball team, travel, do something, anything, that puts a little color in your skin, hair on your chest, and mileage on your soul.

I know I'm picking on guys here. And that's because the blog is about me, a guy, who isn't really a geek, but who also has the knowledge, shared interests, and experience of one. However, I'm always against unattractive women dressing up in revealing clothing (cosplay). Although, that's less shallow than it sounds. I like women soft, not chiseled like a triathlete or twiggy like an Olsen twin.

And the biggest reason I'm not geek: I don't, and have never wanted to, live in Neverland. I wanted to be an adult someday who could handle bullies, make art he liked, understand the world around him, and find love. So don't complain about being an awkward virgin because that's what all kids are or should be. If that's not what you want, turn off My Little Pony, go outside, and chop some damn firewood — yes, even if you don't have a fireplace.