Monday, January 14, 2013

The Worst Book to Film Adaptations

Before I do this, I just want to say that it makes me want to rip my hair out every time I read these lists. Why, you ask? It's because you can tell that most people compiling them barely read. Most are filled with children's book adaptations and Twilight. And you know what? The Twilight films, while they suck, are actually better than their source material.

6. Frankenstein

That's right, the original classic that catapulted the monster into being a household name. But how many people have actually read it? Marry Shelly was actually a very talented and literary writer. The actual Frankenstein's monster was closer to Anne of Green Gables turned sociopath from his own abandonment issues, constant isolation, and existential crises brought on from his intellectual ascension. I'm not saying this classic was a bad movie, just a terrible adaption that reduced her genius down to a crude horror story that lost the spirit of The Modern Prometheus and its characters.

5. I Robot

It's been awhile since I saw this movie. But it's not like the book was some sort of epic that couldn't fit into a film's time constraints. Not only does it not follow any of the multiple plots in the original book; it doesn't even attempt to.

4. IT

A lot of adults think this movie was a lot scarier and better than it actually is because they saw IT as kids. Granted, Tim Curry was pretty scary as Pennywise. But compared to the book, this was just a giant clusterfuck. The book was fairly long and mixed in some coming of age elements that tie everything together. Basically, everything great about the book was virtually non existence in the film.

3. Dune

This makes me sad because it was made by my favorite director, David Lynch. It also stars two of my favorite actors, Patrick Stewart and Kyle Mclaughlin. The problems are abundant in this film. Stiff acting, terrible pacing, convoluted plot / incoherent plot, etc. All anecdotes aside, Lynch wasn't the right guy for this job, and the 80s weren't the right time for Dune.

2. Queen of the Damned

I remember seeing some behind the scenes thing where the director talked about being such an Anne Rice fan. Honestly, I couldn't tell by watching it. It was a complete mess of a plot and wildly inaccurate to the books. The acting was putrid; the music was worse, and the entire film looked like a straight to DVD project of the 90s.

1. Breakfast of Champions

Words can't even really describe my full loathing for this film. It looks like something you'd find among the debris of a meth lab explosion. However, you don't have to take my word for it; just google up what Vonnegut thought of this turd.


  1. I love Lynch's Dune. I had high hopes for the SciFi mini series. They did some stuff well, but over all didn;t have the resources they needed.